Joliet Area Community Hospice volunteers make memorial care bears

JOLIET – When a loved one dies, processing the grief can be painful and long-lasting.

But Joliet Area Community Hospice has a way to soften the sting.

At the request of grieving family members, a team of 20 hospice volunteers will use their cutting, sewing and design skills to make soft, huggable teddy bears out of material from items of clothing worn by the deceased.

The bears help keep the memory of the loved one close.

“Sometimes that’s what they need to heal,” said Julie Blackburn, JACH bereavement counselor. “We cannot hug our loved ones anymore, but we can hug them through the bears.”

Joliet Area Community Hospice were set to honor both the Memorial Care BEAR volunteers and the Joliet Fire Department on Monday night at its “Champions of Hospice” annual dinner meeting.

How the bears help

Blackburn said some clients want her present when they receive their bears. She’ll coordinate the counseling sessions with the reception so clients can process their feelings with her.

Clients might cry for an hour or share memories they associate with the particular shirt, skirt or pajamas, Blackburn said.

“It’s very emotional,” she said. “You’re seeing your loved one’s clothing in a three-dimensional form again ... and feeling that fabric again.”

Everyone works through grief differently, Blackburn said, and not everyone wants a bear made of a loved one’s clothes. Others need that connection.

“It’s not a bad thing to feel,” Blackburn said. “It can be part of that healing process.”

Blackburn said some clients keep the bears on their beds and hug them each night before retiring. One woman placed the bear sewn with her husband’s shirt in his favorite chair, which was much better than seeing that empty chair, she told Blackburn.

Easing emotional turmoil can help a grieving person with bereavement, Blackburn said.

“That energy can be put back into the things we enjoy in life,” Blackburn said. “Those bears really help that whole process. It’s a lasting memory.”

Beth Zimmerman, of Joliet and a patient care clerk at JACH, ordered several bears. One wears a maroon corduroy button-down shirt her father, Robert Kozik, often wore. Kozik died in 2005.

Then a little over a year ago, Zimmerman lost her grandmother, Catherine Heap. Zimmerman had bears stitched from one of her grandmother’s skirts for her three sisters, her mother and herself.

“She always wore skirts,” Zimmerman said of her grandmother. “I have purchased a lot of bears. You want something to remember them by. ... They make me feel like they’re still here.”

Jean Eicholzer and Kathy McCune, both of Joliet, and Sandy Richards, of Channahon, are volunteers in JACH’s memorial care bear ministry. The three work on the second half of the projects with donated material.

“We stuff them and decorate them,” Eicholzer said. “We put on the eyes, nose, buttons, ribbons. ... Each have their own little personalities.”

McCune said her oldest son had cancer and went through chemotherapy. When she heard the care bear ministry needed volunteers, McCune felt it would be a good fit.

“I’ve been sewing pretty much all my life,” she said, “so that interested me.”

Loved ones, McCune said, bring in all kinds of material for the bears: robes, sports apparel, jackets, nightgowns, blouses, shirts with business logos, clothing with Harley-Davidson emblems and even wedding dresses.

McCune said one friend cuddles her bear when she’s having a bad day.

“It makes the grief a little better,” McCune said.

Richards said she used the JACH bereavement counseling program when her husband died.

“Then I decided I wanted to give back,” Richards said. “I truly hope that we are helping people who are going through the death of a spouse or other loved one.”

Eicholzer mentioned an added benefit of the memorial care bear program – friendships she’s made with the other volunteers.

Jacquelyn Bersano, JACH senior director of development, said volunteers make hundreds of bears each year, which hospice appreciates. They are organized by Volunteer Director Jeri Smith, who Bersano said does a wonderful job of recruiting, training and following up.

“We have more than 290 volunteers total,” Bersano said. “They do many, many different things for us.”

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KNOW MORE

Anyone may order a memorial care bear, whether or not a loved one used JACH services. The donation is $20 for a small bear and $40 for a large one. For more information, call 815-740-4104.