Farmer: Families may be struggling with COVID-19 and also maybe domestic violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. This is a hectic and crazy time for us all with COVID-19, but it is especially important for us to look out for our family, friends, co-workers, neighbors or anyone that is struggling right now.

Their struggles may also include domestic violence. This is a serious situation.

With COVID-19, people have lost their jobs, their insurance, their food is low or nonexistent, and they are home 24/7. Domestic violence may be present too.

If an abuser is home all the time, the other parent may not be able to go out with the kids. Maybe the abuser is always checking on them, asking where they are going, not permitting them to go out of the house, not permitting them to talk to another person. All of this is domestic violence, and it is frightening.

Or maybe one parent is expected to get the kids to do Zoom with their classmates, and there is another child that is in preschool. That is hard enough, but much more difficult when domestic violence is present as well.

Maybe the father is screaming at the kids and the mother is trying to shield the kids from his screaming; or the mother is screaming and the father is trying to protect the kids. This is domestic violence.

Oftentimes, this is a very discreet way perpetrating domestic violence in the home and no one knows about it … except the children.

Sometimes you notice the kids are getting sick more than usual, maybe they are wetting the bed or getting into trouble often. They are feeling unsafe in a home where there is domestic violence.

It is important for them to come to Turning Point, to meet with a children’s advocate and learn what is healthy and what is unhealthy. At the same time, we have adult advocates who can meet with the mom or dad and talk about it. All of these services are free of charge.

Turning Point is a domestic violence crisis agency and shelter, with an additional office at the courthouse to assist women or men who are trying to obtain an order of protection.

Turning Point has three people on-call, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Anytime a person wants to talk with an advocate, they can call our number.

We have six groups a week, morning and evening with children’s services for most of the groups. We also provide childcare during most groups. That way, a woman doesn’t have to worry about her children when she is seeking out services or has questions.

Along with being a crisis agency and shelter, Turning Point assists the Latino population by having staff in all our services who are bilingual and bicultural.

Additionally, we have a Mental Health Department and a Partner Abuse Intervention program. This program teaches perpetrators what domestic violence is, how to stop abusing and how to change their behaviors.

All of this, along with our secure emergency shelter, helps Turning Point provide domestic violence crisis services and stabilization to families.

If you are in an abusive situation or if you aren’t sure if it’s abuse, just give us a call. We are available and ready to take calls. Turning Point can be reached at 815-338-8081 anytime. Please be safe.

* Jane Farmer is the executive director of Turning Point of McHenry County, a domestic violence crisis agency and shelter.