This DeKalb agency offers 24/7 domestic violence crisis help

DeKALB – Are you or someone you know in an abusive relationship and aren’t sure how to safely leave? Workers from Safe Passage DeKalb said they’re here to help.

Safe Passage Inc. is a DeKalb-based nonprofit dedicated to helping those who find themselves in a violent or abusive relationship through advocacy, intervention and prevention. It’s DeKalb County’s only domestic violence survivor shelter, offering safe haven for those seeking to leave violent situations.

Anyone who is in immediate danger should call 911, a Safe Passage employee told Shaw Local on Friday. For those looking for more long-term help who aren’t in imminent danger, Safe Passage’s 24-hour crisis hotline (815-756-5228) is here to help. Hotline correspondents offer real-time advice and guidance.

Melissa McGraw, a clinical director for Safe Passage, said the organization’s primary purpose for anyone who reaches out is to first assess safety.

“[Safe Passage workers] help them get to safety or figure what they need to do to be safe,” McGraw said. “Sometimes that isn’t always just fleeing and coming into a shelter. People leaving an abusive relationship is when the risk goes up for things like domestic homicide. So that’s why it’s not that easy to leave a situation like that.”

People don’t even have to tell us their names. They can speak to us anonymously, and we will talk to them. We will never share their information with anyone else. It’s 100% confidential.”

—  Melissa McGraw, clinical director at Safe Passage DeKalb

On its website, Safe Passage shares a link to a Johns Hopkins School of Nursing danger assessment. The self-administered questionnaire asks participants a variety of questions about their partner, and groups scores into four categories of danger: extreme, severe, increased and variable.

McGraw said Safe Passage seeks to meet people wherever they are by offering services to help them make the safest decision possible. The organization has free counseling services, helps with legal advocacy and can assist people in seeking an order of protection in court against an abusive and violent partner.

Safe Passage’s shelter is ready to take in people at any time of the day, no matter when during the week they call the organization’s crisis hotline. McGraw said Safe Passage workers also inform people on how to recognize domestic violence and what their rights are in fraught scenarios.

“We try to help the person, if they’re ready to seek help, figure out how they want to do that,” McGraw said. “People don’t even have to tell us their names. They can speak to us anonymously, and we will talk to them. We will never share their information with anyone else. It’s 100% confidential.”

McGraw said Safe Passage workers are happy to talk with anyone who has questions about domestic violence, even if they aren’t sure their situation qualifies.

Those who aren’t in abuse relationships but are family or friends of someone who might be can play an important role in helping anyone escape the abuse, McGraw said. The general public also can call Safe Passage’s crisis hotline to discuss situations they might be seeing.

McGraw said she thinks “a lot of survivors or victims of domestic abuse end up very isolated.”

“In other words, ‘Don’t talk to your friends, don’t talk to your family, don’t tell people what’s happening here. It’s a big secret,’” McGraw said, describing an abuser’s behavior. “That may be another barrier that prevents people from leaving or seeking help, because they’ve been cut off from support systems.”

McGraw said she thinks it’s important for the general public to be supportive of those who admit they’re in an abusive situation. Those at risk can feel even more isolated from needed aid if they’re cut off from those around them.

The Washington, D.C.-based Violence Policy Center, a national nonprofit that advocates to reduce gun-related violence, estimated in 2020 that about 1,200 Americans die each year in murder-suicides. Of that, almost two-thirds involve an intimate partner, data shows. In those instances, the victim is a woman 95% of the time.

“When you hear about these murder-suicides, they are almost always domestic violence-related,” McGraw said. “And it’s usually not the first time something has happened. This is the end of domestic violence, not the beginning of it.”