Christmas lights are coming down as valentine hearts are going up yet grumpy ol’ Scrooge still might be lingering around and overstaying his welcome.
I’m referring to the Scrooge-y kind of internal dialogue that is self-berating even when the people or situations involved long have faded from our lives. The inner-mind chatter that reflects on the miseries of the past or perhaps worst of all makes current experiences miserable.
When does looking backward overpower looking forward? Does it happen when some childhood prank is seared into memory and festers year after year? Maybe it’s when a missed job promotion boils over into rage. Or when serious health or finance problems scar dreams of the future.
Let me give you an example of something that recently happened to me. Maybe you can relate?
I was ready to get up from sleeping but instead laid in bed reflecting on a past negative experience. Why did it turn out the way it did? What could I have said or done to have made it better? I started putting myself down for my ineptness. This train of thought was further exasperated by the fact that this incident happened 10 years ago and the people in it no longer were in my life. So I laid there reflecting on the past rather than moving forward.
Once I realized what was happening and the negative downward spiral my mind was drifting in, I started a mantra: Neti, Neti (pronounced Neh-tee, Neh-tee). It’s a Sanskrit mantra that means “I am not this thought, I am not that thought.” So as the negative thoughts swirled in my mind, I caught each one and said, “Neti, Neti.” And then let each miserable conundrum float away with my exhale.
As it drifted away in the exhale, I started to focus more on my breathing. Soft inhale, slow exhale. I continued this breath focus and when a negative thought swirled up again, “Neti, Neti.” Soon I was breathing easy in the present moment of a new beautiful day.
It was as if I was giving my mind permission to reset through a refreshing mind shower. I went in muddy but “Neti, Neti” cleared the mud away making it easier to move forward into the challenges, triumphs and miracles of the day.
My motto that morning became: “Never say Never but Always say Neti.”
So in the spirit of camaraderie, I’d like to offer you this bit of hope for the future. Don’t worry about slipping and falling because there’ll always be another Neti around to help.
• Joan Budilovsky can be reached at editorial@kcchronicle.com or through her website at Yoyoga.com.