Meet the Kingston mom birthing joy for others

KINGSTON – When Paula Pacey gives birth in October, she won’t be taking home the human she helped create, but she knew that when she signed up to be a surrogate.

Instead, Pacey, 35, of Kingston, will be helping others welcome the miracle of life into their home: A married couple from Washington will have their first child through Pacey’s surrogacy. Already a mother of five, Pacey, who works as a nurse in Rockford, is nine months pregnant.

She has no genetic link to the child she’s carrying, according to New York-based Brownstone, the surrogate agency that facilitated the contract between her and the couple she’s helping to start a family.

“I didn’t really feel like I was done having kids,” Pacey said. “My husband and I didn’t want any[more] kids. So I am happy to do this again, for somebody else to be able to have a child and experience the joy that I have and Chad has in our kids.”

As a result of Pacey’s efforts, Jeff Shiff and SoonKyu “SK” Park, a married couple who recently moved to Washington, soon will welcome their first child into the world. They plan to be present at the birth in DeKalb County.

In a text message with Shaw Local News Network, Shiff said he was feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness – what he imagines any soon-to-be dad feels.

“I just keep telling myself I’ll roll with it and figure it out as we go along,” he wrote. “So, all the normal things any first-time dad would be feeling.”

Brownstone only facilitates gestation surrogacy, in which the intended parents create embryos from their own sperm or egg, or those of donors. The embryo that was created is then transferred into the surrogate’s uterus through in vitro fertilization. A traditional surrogate would be artificially inseminated but use her own egg, meaning the baby would have a genetic connection to the surrogate.

Pacey, who’s being compensated tens of thousands of dollars for her labor, said she thought being a surrogate “would be a good way to help” those who aren’t able to have a child.

“I love my kids so much, and I cannot imagine life without them,” Pacey said. “I do have a real understanding about the fact that there are people out there who struggle and try everything and cannot have a child.”

Jarret Zafran, the founder and executive director at Brownstone, and his husband have two daughters through surrogacy. He said that experience inspired him to create the agency alongside a co-director who’s twice been a surrogate.

“We come to this professionally but also from a personal point of view,” Zafran said. “What surrogacy agencies do, essentially, at their core, is a match-making service.”

Zafran said of the women willing to be surrogates, only about 5% are eligible. That leaves people who choose to turn to surrogacy for family planning with long waits before finding a match.

Those couples often are cancer survivors, men, or those who’ve had hysterectomies or multiple failed pregnancies, Zafran said. That doesn’t cover everyone, however.

“I give those as examples, but I have clients who fit every one of those descriptors that have been on the fertility journey, for a decade at times, before turning to surrogacy,” Zafran said. “Or who are just really excited that this is an opportunity for them because they always knew this was their path to parenthood.”

Shiff said he and his husband couldn’t have imagined anyone better than Pacey and her husband, Chad, to go through the surrogacy journey with.

He still remembers how nervous they were before their first video call with the Kingston couple.

“We could tell they were feeling the same,” Schiff texted. “The generosity of Paula, Chad, their entire family, their friends and their extended network means so much to us. They are helping provide such a gift that when SK and I were growing up, we could’ve never even imagined it was an option for us.”

Pacey, a former Chicago Marathon runner, said she’s happy with her decision to help Shiff and Park become dads. She just wishes the sum of her daily activity wasn’t a 20-minute walk.

“The experience really has been great,” Pacey said. “Not exercising like I planned has not been the happiest moment for me, but I’m also OK with it, and I understand it happens. But otherwise, everything’s been good. It’s been a very healthy pregnancy. I think the relationship with the dads is great, and I’m excited for them to be fathers.”