On the Record with Denise O’Donnell Adams

DeKALB – Denise O’Donnell Adams started writing a book about 15 years ago, but she was having trouble with the fairytale version of her life.

After moving back to DeKalb, she started writing again, this time “with honesty, courage and recovery.”

In December, O’Donnell Adams, who grew up in DeKalb and is a 1976 graduate of DeKalb High School, published her first book, “I’ll Raise You Ten.” Her story takes place at her childhood home on Sixth Street in DeKalb and the apartment above the tavern her parents, Richard and Connie O’Donnell, owned.

O’Donnell Adams describes her book as “a coming-of-age survival memoir of young Denise and her nine siblings in the midst of chaos and neglect in northern Illinois during the 1950s and beyond … a story of survival, hope, determination and love.”

A book launch and signing party will be held from 7 to 9 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 4, at Carter’s Cottage, 255 E. Lincoln Highway in DeKalb. The event will include champagne, free bookmarks and a Q&A with O’Donnell Adams. Books will be available for purchase at the event, or attendees can bring their own copies for signature.

The book is available for purchase on Amazon as a paperback or as a Kindle e-book. More than 500 copies of the book have been sold, and it has been translated into German. In the past month on Amazon, the book has been in the top 15 in three categories of bestsellers and No. 1 in survival biographies for new releases.

O’Donnell Adams is writing a novella sequel to the book, “Know When to Run.” She also is writing another book, “Til Diamonds Do We Part,” a mystery novel set in the 2000s in Texas, partially based on a true story.

O’Donnell Adams spoke to MidWeek reporter Katrina Milton about “I’ll Raise You Ten.”

Milton: How would you describe what your book is about?

O’Donnell Adams: It’s a love story, a tragic story of early deaths, a story of a friend and co-worker’s murder, and of course, a story of neglect, with the underlying atrocities that result from the trickle-down effect of substance abuse, intertwined with mental, physical and sexual abuse in the 1950s and 1960s in America, delivered in the open by some and delivered by many in private. … It’s a story of hope and survival in the face of fear, hurt and ridicule from the ones that loved us, the ones that were here to protect. It’s my truthful early years as a youth in my large Irish Catholic family of 12, sprinkled in with some fun, a bit of humor and the determination to understand and eventually the ability to cross over to the other side – the side of peace, love and understanding for myself and my abusers.

Milton: When did you decide to write a book?

O’Donnell Adams: About 15 years ago, my sisters and I were talking about our parents. There were 10 siblings in total, eight girls and two boys. While chatting, they all agreed that I should write a book about what happened. I started writing, but stopped because I had trouble from keeping it a fairytale version. Then, I moved to Illinois and COVID hit. I got my old iPad out and said, “I’m going to finish this book, and I’m going to tell it right.”

Milton: Tell me more about yourself.

O’Donnell Adams: I left DeKalb and headed to New Mexico. My first job was at the public library. My aunt and my cousin were both head librarians at the time in the public school system. After meeting my husband and starting our family, I attended college in Oklahoma. My first priority was my honor to be a homemaker for our children and my husband. We moved a lot to the many oil-producing states.

Milton: How have you helped others through the years?

O’Donnell Adams: I was always an advocate for abused children. [My husband and I] participated in a program called Rainbow Homes, where we took in children of all ages at a moment’s notice to save them from the immediate harm of abuse. I was a headliner in a large production, the Red Glove Review musical in Tulsa, that raised funds yearly for children suffering from cerebral palsy. I’ve been a paid caregiver, as well as a family full-time caregiver for many. I’m an empath by nature with a strong focus on honesty, with a realist mindset. … I am also a crafter, furniture designer and refurbisher, and I make jewelry with my sister. I’m always doing some kind of craft.

Milton: Who are some of your favorite authors and inspirations?

O’Donnell Adams: I love the classics: du Maurier, Wilde, Hawthorne, Wilkie Collins, as well as all the great mystery writers, with a bit of Grisham to cap things off. Reading has always been a passion for me. I lived at our wonderful public library as a child, never dreaming that I would one day be able to check out my own novel from my hometown institution. … Reading was my escape from reality as a child. Writing has released me, taught me to embrace the truth, remember the past hurts and to forgive. My prayer is to help other do the same. Pretending only prolongs the suffering of the past into the present.

Milton: What is your goal for publishing the book?

O’Donnell Adams: My hope for my book is to help heal the others that share the thread of abuse with me. My prayer is they release the tears, the fears, the hurt, the pretending and follow their path to their authentic self that has been hiding in the secrets of the dark. My mantra in life is “Where there is fear, there is no creativity.”

Milton: Do you have advice for others who have lived through abuse?

O’Donnell Adams: Don’t be a pretender. It will destroy your life. The longer you pretend, the longer it takes you to crawl out of the madness and pain. I lived through it, and I want to help and protect others. I want them to know that there are programs, people and professionals out there that can help guide us survivors into recovery. … Don’t let your fear stop you. Your journey may bring light and love to others. It may be immediately, or after you are gone. Regardless of when, you must begin.