Oliver: Return to radiation treatments feels like déjà vu all over again

Going through radiation treatments for breast cancer for a second time feels like déjà vu.

Then again, this whole journey that I’ve been on since February, when something was found in my routine mammogram, has been like that. I had my first surgery at the end of March and a follow-up surgery at the beginning of May. Then it was wait around to heal until I was able to meet with the radiology oncologist at the end of May.

I’ll be starting my latest round of radiation treatments on Thursday. I’ll be going back and forth to the Sage Center at Northwestern Medicine McHenry Hospital for almost the entirety of July. Five years ago, I started on Aug. 1 and finished on Aug. 30.

Last time, the Sage Center was undergoing a remodel and major construction. Patients used to enter the area through what now is the cardiology center. Occasionally, I’d pass a construction worker in the hall as I went for my treatments.

I suppose that might be part of the reason that so much looks new to me, but some things are comfortingly familiar.

Not that I’m all that happy to be doing this again. Who would be? However, doing nothing, particularly since this cancer sequel includes the dreaded “triple negative” form of breast cancer, isn’t an option. It’s also not an option since my body has proved that it’s capable of creating new cancer long before anyone would have expected it.

So, because I still don’t (thankfully) qualify for chemotherapy, more radiation treatments it is.

For those who might not know, chemotherapy is the treatment that often leaves a patient without hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. The side effects can be hard on the patient. If my cancer this time had been slightly larger, I might be writing about that instead of radiation treatments.

Last time, I handled the radiation treatments well. Maybe it was because I followed the doctor’s directions to a T, ate a lot of fruits and vegetables, and took a recommended supplement that I wound up with only a bit of pink skin, like a mild sunburn.

I’ll be following the same regimen as much as possible.

I remember being a bit tired, but I was never able to determine if it was a result of the radiation treatments or if it was because of the stress and grind of my everyday tasks. I was a caregiver for my husband with Alzheimer’s disease then as well.

Of course, Tony needs even more care these days than he did then, so no doubt that is going to be a bigger challenge than it was the first time. I’m hoping to have my treatments at a time when Tony’s helper is already at the house. That way, Tony stays in his routine and I can get my treatments done without having to ask for even more help.

Unfortunately, Tony doesn’t seem to understand any of this second breast cancer journey. As much as I try to explain it to him, I just don’t think he has the capacity to understand. Or he does, but it’s not something that he can retain and remember. That might become a problem if my fatigue comes at a time when he needs something.

Taking naps these days can be anything but restful. Tony always seems to use the time that I’m trying to sleep as a cue to pace up and down the hallway right outside the bedroom. Back and forth, back and forth endlessly. When he’s not pacing, he’s standing in the doorway looking at me. Have you ever tried to nap with someone watching you? It ain’t easy.

However, I remind myself that this all will be over in a few weeks. I’m scheduled for 20 treatments, which is a couple fewer than last time. And it will be worth all the trouble if I can keep any further cancer from returning. So far, the right side that received the radiation treatments in 2019 is behaving itself.

That’s my hope for the left side this time around. It’s the best option I have.

So, I’m taking it.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.