Oliver: Extra hour of sleep couldn’t have come at a better time this year

The time change last weekend came in handy at the Oliver homestead. That extra hour should help a little to make up the enormous sleep debt that my husband, Tony, is dealing with these days.

The past couple of months have been increasingly difficult in dealing with my husband’s Alzheimer’s disease. He has been more restless than ever before, and my once-silent husband has begun to babble incoherently and utter random swear words.

Imagine this scenario taking place from the time he gets up until the time he goes to bed. As the caregiver in all of this, I find myself seeking out quiet rooms to have a moment’s peace.

In addition, Tony also gets angry and frustrated more often. That means that I also must dodge punches and be very careful not to set him off.

When I ran this by my new care navigator, Jen, she suggested that maybe Tony had an infection. We were going to see Tony’s primary care physician anyway, so I asked him about that possibility. He prescribed some antibiotics, and I was hopeful.

The sleep problems started on the first night Tony was on the antibiotics. I’m guessing he didn’t feel very well because he refused to get into bed, all the while getting angrier as I insisted. Eventually, I managed to persuade him to go to sleep.

The medication did seem to take the edge off some of his behavior, but it didn’t stop the babbling and swearing. Still, a little less aggression was OK by me.

A few days later, he got into bed but then refused to stay there. The only thing I can think that could have caused this was that he had eaten a bunch of rich food when his sister came to visit. This time, after repeated attempts to get him to get into bed and go to sleep, he finally wore himself out and climbed into bed for good.

I had hoped that this would be the last of it and we’d go back to our usual routine: He’d go to bed and then I’d get up periodically during the night to adjust the CPAP machine for his sleep apnea. He’d get a good night’s sleep, and I’d get enough sleep to get by.

Sadly, though, about a week and a half ago, the wheels fell off our sleeping routine altogether. And I don’t have anything to blame this time.

That Friday night began well. The pre-bed routine was smooth. But once I got him into bed, he didn’t stay there for long, preferring to walk around the room and babble, every now and then getting animated.

I tried just about every trick I knew to get him to go to bed, but the answer was the same: no. This went on for two hours.

By this time, my patience was gone, and I made the mistake of trying to make him go to bed. When that didn’t work, I got out of there and went to another room to try to sleep while nursing my bruises.

In the days after that, Tony each night refused to go to bed. I would offer, and he would say no. I’d do something else and try again. When he refused a second time, I’d kiss him goodnight, turn the lights off and head to the other room.

Tony had a bed he could sleep on, a chair he could sit on and the illumination of a night light so that he wouldn’t hurt himself if he chose to walk around. He spent the next few nights doing just that.

One morning, he was so tired that he fell asleep while he was eating his breakfast. He would nap most of the morning in a chair in the living room. He was so tired that the babbling almost stopped entirely.

As hard as this was to watch, I tried to maintain his routine as best I could. I stopped insisting and just let him know that he needed to sleep.

Lo and behold, by the following Friday night, Tony finally decided that he wanted to get into bed. Better still, he finally slept the entire night and didn’t get up to walk around at all.

I’m still heading to the other room, mainly because I don’t want to give him any reason to get restless again. It also helps that I’m getting some of the best sleep I’ve had in a while.

So, when that time change happened, I’m happy to say that the extra hour of sleep helped me too.

And Tony made a tiny dent in a week’s worth of sleep debt.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.