Oliver: With another year in the books, here’s to writing another new chapter

Another trip around the sun. We’ve made it … almost.

If you’re like me, you’re probably using this final week of 2022 to look back at the previous year.

Of course, this assessing the previous year is an ongoing thing for me, not limited to when I put up a new calendar on the wall.

I’m happy to say that this year didn’t have any of the landmark events that have marked previous years for the Olivers. No new diagnoses of progressive diseases, no new findings of cancer or deaths in the family, human or animal. That’s a relief.

Still, as a caregiver for someone with a progressive neurological disease, it’s hard not to reflect on how much function my dear Tony has lost to his Alzheimer’s disease. I can’t deny that he’s hit the stage where he is aggressive when he gets frustrated. That’s often in the morning when we’re getting ready for the day and at night when we’re getting ready for bed.

In between, he’s mostly calm and easy to deal with. Yet, the things he forgets one day and then suddenly remembers the next leave me feeling like I’m treading on shifting sand, unable to really get a handle on the situation. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from trying.

Despite that, we’ve managed to get out more and even find a few fun things to do.

For most people, this year marked the return to normalcy and doing all the things that were put off for the two years we spent cooped up and restricted because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

That return to “normal” often resembled the mad rush kids make to jump into a pool. All cannon balls and big splashes right into the deep end.

Over here, it was more a creep up to the shallow end of the pool and a cautious dip of a toe or two into the water. Then, after seeing that nothing bad happened, a gentle slide into the water.

Some of that, I’ll admit, is my own overly cautious nature and a lot of it has to do with the realization that I am responsible for keeping my dear husband safe and healthy. There are things that Tony and I could do when the pandemic began that we just can’t do anymore. I miss being able to go shopping, but I know that trying to bring Tony along would be too stressful for me.

We did manage to get out and about, particularly when the weather was nice, to visit friends, to attend an outdoor concert and to go apple-picking. I know Tony appreciated the opportunity to see people, even if one can never be quite sure whether he remembers who they are. Mind you, these outings aren’t without their own brand of stress, but I know they are worth it.

The year also saw me get out of my comfort zone. After years of vowing that I’d get around to using the concrete slab outside my back door that tries to be a patio, I finally set it up enough to have friends over. More than a few pleasant mornings were spent there drinking coffee and catching up.

A foray into growing something beyond flowers yielded mixed results. Fresh herbs were delightful to use in our daily meals. That is, until I managed to kill the cilantro by having it in a pot that didn’t drain properly. Rookie mistake.

Then there was the tomato plant that yielded a whopping four little tomatoes. Even so, the exercise was gratifying, and I’m eager for spring so I can try it again.

Like many people, I’m also setting some goals for the coming year. First and foremost, I want to keep Tony safe and healthy, even as I’d like to see us venture out a little more. We’ll see how much of that he will tolerate.

Another goal is to be brave and try a few more things that make me uncomfortable. Like every homeowner, there are projects that need doing. I’m going to do my best to figure them out and dive right in. Sometimes the hardest part is to take the first step.

Here’s to a brand-new year with its many opportunities and adventures.

Let’s see how far we’ll go.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.