This August will be my 29th year serving in the U.S. Marine Corps. I served five years active duty and the rest in the reserves. I currently serve as a reservist with I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, California.
I have seen many exciting changes over the years. When I was a young lieutenant, women made up 5% of Marine Corps. Today, it is exciting to see the increase of women serving in the Marine Corps to 9% among many other exciting changes over the years.
A couple of months ago, I attended a social and was eating dinner with a group of ladies. One in her mid-20s was interested in the military, and asked me a lot of questions. I shared my experiences of traveling the world, receiving training and education, enjoying the benefits of achieving rank with pay, as well as experiencing a myriad of leadership opportunities.
She said, “There’s just one thing that I am concerned about. I don’t want to die.” I replied, “I can understand that reason. That is an occupational hazard.”
Military service members voluntarily take an oath to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic.” It’s a blank check to Uncle Sam to defend this great nation, which may result to death.
Memorial Day is dedicated in remembrance and reflection of those who died for our freedom. I am intimately aware of the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom from my combat deployment to Afghanistan. In 2009, I was the Officer-in-Charge of Personnel Retrieval and Processing Detachment, also known as mortuary affairs, and deployed to Camp Bastion, Helmand Province, Afghanistan. We provided care in handling and preparing human remains for evacuation and subsequent repatriation to next of kin. This was an emotionally fatiguing job with repeated traumatizing experiences.
Following my combat deployment to Afghanistan, I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was a tortured soul for 12 years. I sought help through the VA and received counseling. Even though I was functional, I was still struggling. In August 2019, my father passed away, which fragmented sibling relationships, I was coming to terms with being an adult orphan since my mom passed away in 2012, and I left education after 16 years when I had intentions to retire from teaching. These significant life stressors exacerbated my PTSD. I needed an immersion in treatment beyond the weekly counseling I was receiving. In January 2022, I checked-in to a VA inpatient facility in Cincinnati, Ohio, for seven weeks. I was eager to get the help I so desperately needed. Soon, all of my former feelings of shame and doubt that I was not worthy of PTSD treatment vanished. I was able to unpack the burdens of my PTSD, disarm them and hit the reset button of my life. My disposition slowly improved from dark ominous stormy clouds to clear blue skies and I was able to rewrite the script of my future.
By God’s grace, I am a stronger person today with my depth of wisdom, resilience and renewed health in mind, body and spirit. In the military, there is a stigma in admitting mental health problems and pursuing treatment, especially as a senior officer. However, during treatment, I had a moment with God where I thanked him for the healing power I was receiving from treatment. As I was feeling better, I thought that I should share this powerful healing experience with others. Then, I thought, I better not because I am still in uniform. Then it was like God tapping me on my shoulder and saying, “Think again! You are going to share your story while you are still in uniform, as you will have a greater impact, and many are suffering in silence.”
My PTSD story is posted on a website called Freedom Fitness America, where I am an adviser for this non-profit organization dedicated to training military professionals to be “fit for the fight and life.”
My intent in sharing my story is to be an encouragement and possibly an example for others who may be suffering in silence to get the help necessary to live a life worth living. I cannot begin to tell you how many fellow Marines have positively responded to my story as they could deeply relate to it.
Many combat veterans are still waging the battle within, losing their personal battle to invisible wounds of war and succumb to suicide. As we remember those who lost their lives in battle, we must also remember those who bring the battle home. On average, 22 veterans commit suicide every day. If you or someone you know is struggling, seek support. There are many resources available for those who suffer from PTSD, starting with the Veterans Administration.
Because of our heroes who did not return home, we daily enjoy our freedoms, civil liberties and our American way of life. It is because of the ultimate sacrifice of our war heroes that we can live in the land of the free, home of the brave and enjoy our freedoms because “Freedom is Not Free.”
• U.S. Marine Corps Col. Patty Klop gave this speech on May 29, Memorial Day, at Union Cemetery in Crystal Lake. This article was condensed for space. The Memorial Day Parade in Crystal Lake was a collaboration between American Legion Post 171 and City of Crystal Lake.