Bidding farewell from Byron fairway

Somewhere up above, Matt Henkel was looking down on his beloved PrairieView Golf Club in Byron on Tuesday and smiling.

It was filled with golfers, 58 of them for a morning outing and 87 more in the afternoon. They hit some awesome shots on a warm, sunny day, some that were not so awesome, had a few cold drinks and swapped some tales. It’s the kind of day that brings golfers to the course in the first place, and helps a place like PrairieView flourish.

The only thing missing was Henkel, who spent a good chunk of his waking hours the last two decades keeping PrairieView in pristine condition. He died on May 19, after a 13-year battle with brain cancer. He was 42.

Rather than have a traditional funeral, Henkel wanted a golf outing for his family and friends. It was held Tuesday at PrairieView. Proceeds from the event will benefit the Wee One Foundation, which helps golf course management professionals and their dependents who incur overwhelming expenses due to medical hardships.

He leaves behind his wife, Cammie, and children Ashton, Claire and Mara. Cammie could not have been more pleased with how the day went.

“It was exactly what Matt wanted,” Cammie said. “He didn’t want the kids to have to go through the funeral experience. His life was so wonderful and blessed that he just wanted everyone to enjoy what he enjoyed. He always said he had the best office in the world, and that’s this golf course. He just wanted to share the love with everybody. Today was super important. Matt was so caring and humble, and he wanted to give back to the superintendent brotherhood, and the Wee One Foundation is that. They were there for us when we needed them, so this day is about giving back and helping others.”

A decent chunk of Sublette, where Henkel grew up; Amboy, where he went to junior high and high school; and Byron, where he lived and worked, was in attendance. Endless stories of Henkel’s kindness, loyalty, work ethic and athletic prowess, just to name a few of his attributes, were told throughout the day.

Many of those stories came from his best buds from the Amboy High School class of 1997. Nick Dinges fondly remembers his days playing youth baseball with Henkel.

“We played baseball together from T-Ball on up, and were together on some pretty tremendous Sublette baseball teams,” Dinges said. “We had the old Navy blue, nylon uniforms with the white stripe on the side. One of the best memories is we played in a Little League tournament with Whitey [Chris Streit], Scott Full and that whole group, and we played against Plainfield. I don’t know if Plainfield knew where Sublette was, because we had our fancy uniforms on with the high socks, and we ended up winning the tournament.

“Matt was a phenomenal athlete at everything he did. He never took accolades for anything he did, but was probably one of the most athletic guys ever to go through our high school.”

As a junior and senior, Henkel helped the Clippers post a combined 46-9 record over his two seasons as a starter. He was a lockdown defender who could score if needed.

Jaron McCracken, who is fighting (and winning) his own battle with brain cancer and shared many trips to the hospital with Henkel, used the word “great” several times in describing Henkel.

“He was one of the best,” McCracken said. “We started in fifth grade and played all the way through our senior year, and he was one of the best. He could score with the best of them. He was a great teammate, a great friend, a great everything, and I miss him dearly.”

“When we got to our junior and senior years of basketball, we had some great teams,” Chad Oester added. “Matt was right there at the top, starting or ready to come off the bench, and we had a ton of fun.”

A 2001 graduate of Illinois State University, Henkel began at PrairieView as an intern, then an assistant, and by 2010, was the head superintendent. In 2018, he added the title of general manager, and was instrumental in the the building of PrairieFire Golf and Grill on the PrairieView driving range. PrairieFire is a year-round targeted driving range full of modern amenities.

Those who worked for and with Henkel will forever remember him.

Kayla Miller is in her fifth year at PrairieView. She works on the grounds crew in the morning, and also works as a bartender and on the beer cart.

“My first year here, there were a bunch of people around ages 18 to 23,” Miller said. “It was all of our first years or second years, so we were new to the equipment on the course. He taught us so many things. There were multiple times some things would break on a mower or we’d have multiple irrigation leaks, by us kids messing things up. We’d be so afraid to tell him at first, because we didn’t want to disappoint him. It would be so funny because he’d be the one telling us it wasn’t a big deal. He had so much patience and never got mad. It was insane, for all of the things that we had done.”

Mary Anne Goley is a bartender and waitress, and was among those who got a nice surprise from Henkel a little more than 3 years ago.

“Mother’s Day, all of the women here, he bought a plant for each of us and wrote a hand-written note, thanking us for everything,” Goley said. “He was so nice, patient and always got things done.”

Todd Tucker is the executive director of the Byron Forest Preserve District, and worked closely with Henkel in all facets of the golf course operation. That included up until about the last month of Henkel’s life, when Tucker sought input over who would take over as superintendent.

“His employees would go through a burning building for him,” Tucker said, “but I also implore them to keep up his legacy. His assistant, Mike Brown, has stepped up. I told him he’s got got big shoes to fill, and hopefully he can fill them as well as Matt did. He’s doing a great job so far, and Matt endorsed him at the end. I had some great talks with Matt a month or so before he passed, ‘Well, do you think Mike’s the guy?’ Matt said, ‘Yeah, he’s the guy.’ Matt had his imprint on what he’s leaving behind, which means a lot to me.”

Greg Welker Jr., another in the Amboy class of 1997, worked 6 years as an assistant under Henkel at PrairieView. He learned much more than how to maintain a golf course.

“What Matt meant to me was he talked me into starting a family, showed me a lot about work ethic and how to be a man,” Welker Jr. said. “I guess a lot of what I am today I owe to him. As far as legacy goes, I don’t know what else you could want to leave behind other than that.”

Oester, one of Henkel’s basketball teammates, is also in the golf course business. He’s been at Bliss Creek in Sugar Grove for 20 years, the last 18 as superintendent.

“We’d always talk turf,” Oester said. “Matt and I would go back and forth with different texts. We were always bitching about the weather.”

A bench honoring Henkel was erected just off the 12th tee box at PrairieView. It was the site of a moving tribute following the completion of the afternoon wave of golf. Tucker spoke about Henkel’s contributions to PrairieView, then Dinges spoke about the special bond he had with so many of his childhood friends.

“It’s hard to put into words what Matt meant to all of us,” Streit said. “Matt, Nick, me and several others, we went to Sublette for our first year of kindergarten and we were fast friends. We were the last class ever to be in Sublette School, and then they kicked us out and made us go to Amboy. Matt was my best friend since Day 1. Friendships like that are once in a lifetime.”

The day ended with a heartfelt speech from Cammie Henkel, who touched on many aspects of life her husband enhanced. At the core, however, was their marriage of nearly 20 years, their three children and the adventures they shared.

Even when the end was near, Matt Henkel was there the best he could manage for the people he loved – and even those he didn’t know.

“He’s been an inspiration to so many people,” Dinges said. “How many people followed him on Twitter? Thousands of people from across the country followed him on his cancer journey for over a decade. He inspired those people to fight on every day. I’ve always said he was an inspiration in my life. When the chips are down or something is not going your way, honestly I always thought, ‘Heck, Matt’s got brain cancer.’

“Every day, he kept coming to work. He was here at 2:30 in the morning and never complained about it. He just went to work. It’s like, my life’s not bad. Whatever was thrown my way, whether it was an employee issue, a work-type issue, a health issue – it’s like, my life’s not so bad. That’s how I approached everything after that.”

“The thing that shown through to me was the man was so strong,” said Randy Miller, another Amboy class of 1997 friend. “His perseverance, his determination, his no-quit attitude, that was just inspirational. His approach to life was always about being together, enjoy each other’s company, have fun, and I think that’s shown here [Tuesday] in the way he wanted us to celebrate his life.”

Excerpts from eulogy

I would like to thank you all for coming to honor Matt tonight. Each of you here has a special place in our family’s collective heart for the love, kindness, guidance, patience, and service you have shown us for the last 13 years and most especially, the last year and a half. Thank you for showing up for Matt and our family. We were blessed by so many people. I wish I could stand up here tonight and say something spectacular about every one of you, but I truly would be here all night. Our parents, sisters, brothers’ in law, all of our friends new and old. Your love and service to our family got us through the darkest and brightest of days. Andy you were Matt’s greatest gift, maybe a tad bit annoying, but his treasured body guard. Whitey, my second husband, you jumped in no questions asked. Dinges’s for always sprinkling me with special surprises to let me know I am not alone. Terri you will forever be our person. You know how much you much to mean to both of us.

Matt left this world knowing he was treasured and adored because of each one of you and for this I cannot thank you enough. Mathew Paul Henkel lived his 42 years on earth as a son, a brother, husband, and father. He was also an uncle, nephew, cousin, friend, a coach, boss, and mentor.

You all know the story of his courageous battle with cancer, his tireless dedication to this very golf course,and the realization of his dream in bringing Prairie Fire to life. You all have your own memories and stories about him and I want to hear every one of them. I want my kids to hear them, please never stop telling us your stories.

Matt had a way with words and would often write me beautiful and meaningful letters or texts telling me how much he loved me and the kids, but the things I miss the most are the everyday small things. The butt taps and surprise kisses as we brushed by each other in our crazy days and nights. Hearing “I love you” when we said goodbye no matter what- even if it was a quick phone call we said it. The random texts throughout the day reminding me that I was beautiful or just something funny that he wanted to tell me. His words were beautiful, but our story is more than words, our story is knowing each other’s deepest fears, secrets, insecurities, and still showing up for each other every day with love, humor, and grace.

Tonight, though, I want to share with all those we hold close, a different story- one we have not gotten to tell very much - but I think he would agree is his favorite.

Our story – A love story- just like the sappy bedtime love stories he dreamt up and told the kids as he tucked them away for the night. The main characters were him and I. Every time he told a story my cheeks would turn red and I would giggle hysterically as the kid’s big blue eyes would open wide with anticipation. He would glance up at me with that huge smile and I knew that the story of happily ever after was just as much for me as it was the kids.

This story- our story is true, it’s pure and it is real.

Ashton, Claire, and Mara- this love story is for you. Our beautiful babies, who now understand when they should not have to, that life is not fair or just.

I have been in love with your father since I was a little girl. I was younger than both Ashton and Claire when our love story began. Our teenage romance grew up into a marriage, partnership, and a family. As each new phase of life happened, and threatened to work against us, we fought for us and he fought for you. There were hard times, as there are in every relationship, but I promise you that the good times always outweighed the bad. Your Dad made sure of it.

Your Dad was so much more than my husband and your father. He was and is, our collective true north. The one that has talked me off the ledge more times than I care to admit, always my biggest fan and cheerleader, and when I could not find my way out of the dark he was always there to reach in and love me enough for both us. He taught me how to love myself when I forgot and allowed me the space to discover my own strength. It is as if, God made this perfect person just for me.

Our love story is painting an entire room on a whim, or coming home after working 14 hours to a house that is completely rearranged and smiling ear to ear- thanking me for making the house magic. Our love story is waking up in the middle of the night to sit with me as I fed our children and me waking up in the middle of the night to sit with him as he cried for our children. It is decorating for Christmas in October, taking last minute adventures with the kids, it is spending every weekend at a baseball field, teaching Claire how to ski, and it is waking up every morning with a little girl snuggled between him and I. Our love story is about texting my friends thanking them for being a good friend to me. It is about watching from the car as your little girl goes trick or treating when he was unable to walk, it is matching Christmas pajamas, carving pumpkins, it is surprise DQ cupcakes just to see me smile, and every now and then folding the laundry. It is late night golf cart rides in the summer, shoveling out a car in the winter, kisses on my forehead, and laughing hysterically at jokes that no one else gets. It is picking up my favorite bagels because he knows I love them and making sure the house is stocked with Nestle water.

Our love story is building a house, a life, a family. He is and will always be ours. We are Us because of Him.

Ashton you not only look like your father, but you will carry on his fierce loyalty, his passion for family, and service to others. He loved how passionately you feel about baseball. Baseball will always be yours together and was not only was he your coach, but he was one of your biggest fans. He is so proud of you son and so am I. Our first child and only son. Sometimes, I would catch him looking at you with this sense of pride and love. It was breathtaking. I know you, your Dad will continue on in this world because one of his soul mates is YOU.

Claire Catharine, our blonde haired beauty. Our precious girl. What a gift you are to us carrying on 2 special names . Our sunshine girl who spent most of middle school as a caregiver to her father. Who in 2nd grade wrote a paper wishing someone would cure cancer. Without question you were always by his side and saved him many times. Claire, your father has adored you from the second he saw you. He loved all the special things you shared. Your dedication to school and learning, your love of skiing, and how much he knew that we count on you. When I couldn’t pull it together the last couple years you took over with such grace.

Mara- our miracle baby. You are the answer to so many people’s prayers. You had your dad wrapped around your finger. Daddy named you so your name was like his. Starts with MA, 4 letters and Brielle meaning God is my strength and Hero. You gave Dad the strength to keep fighting. Sometimes your smile was all he needed to make him feel better on a tough day. Your joy and laughter kept our family in the light on so many days when it would have been easier to go the other way. Just by being you, you kept the magic in our house and what greater gift to give your Dad than a little bit of magic.

Ashton, Claire, and Mara- I have to tell you a secret- your dad was so good at telling you the fairy tale bed time love stories because he is the one who made mine all come true.

And the greatest gift we ever gave each other was YOU- because- my beautiful boy, my darling Claire, and my sweet baby Mara- our love story will never end because YOU are the story. If Dad could have wrote a song this song I am about to play is identical to what he would have said. We listened to it often……. REMEBER to Live your life for Two, Yourself and your Dad. God’s Plan for your Dad was you. He will forever be your angel.