An Extraordinary Life: ‘She was never one to want the spotlight’

Betty Barry’s granddaughter Jayme Kranz of Shorewood called her grandmother a “First Lady” of Shorewood.

Not only did Betty and her husband David Barry (deceased) grow up in Troy Township (incorporated as Shorewood in 1957), David later served as mayor of Shorewood, from 1981 to 1988, Jayme said.

“She was so proud of Shorewood,” Jayme said. “She loved the town she lived in. You talk about hometown pride? She was it.”

Betty was a member of the Church of St. Jude in Joliet, a charter member of the ladies auxiliary to the Troy Fire Department and a former member of the Shorewood Ladies of the Lions.

The last was “a small group of ladies who supported whatever project the men had going,” Jayme said.

“She was a behind-the-scenes kind of lady,” Jayme said. “She’d do a ton of work and never expect any glory for it. She was never one to want the spotlight.”

She was known as a happy, smiling person. Her daughter Barbara “Cookie” Kirkland of Shorewood said Betty grew up on a house near the DuPage River. Betty’s father Walter liked to fish, and they had family parties near the river, she said.

But she definitely had some struggles in her early life, Jayme said.

“When she was 14, her dad died very suddenly. This was during World War II, 1944,” Jayme said. “And both her brothers were off fighting in the war. And during this time her father had a massive heart attack and passed away.

“So after that, she spent the rest of her mother’s life taking care of her. At age 14, she devoted her life to making sure her mother had everything she needed even after she got married and had her own children.”

Jayme said Betty’s mother Loretto didn’t work, so after Betty’s father died, money was tight. After Jayme graduated from the former St. Francis Academy in Joliet (now Joliet Catholic Academy), Betty found a bookkeeping job in Chicago.

If Betty didn’t have a ride to the train station, she either hitchhiked or walked from Shorewood to the station in downtown Joliet, Jayme said.

“If a family member couldn’t give her a ride and if no one picked her up, she walked,” Jayme said.

Eventually Betty found work closer to home and even worked for Caterpillar briefly, Jayme said. Betty’s future husband David brought her home a pearl necklace he bought in Japan when he came home from “the war,” Jayme said.

“They started dating and were married in 1951,” Jayme said.

Betty’s mother lived with them from the very start, which made it easier for Betty to keep working. But the children arrived close together so after the fifth, Betty stopped working and stayed home with the kids, too.

In all, Betty and David had six children: In addition to Cookie, these are Timothy Barry of South Carolina, Terry Barry of Shorewood, David Barry of Shorewood, Kathleen Sharkey of Plainfield and Thomas Barry (deceased). Betty also has nine grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.

Cookie said Betty was a strict mom. Betty’s motto was “no fun until the work is done.” But once the children’s chores were finished, “it was all good,” she said.

Betty loved each child equally and unconditionally, Cookie said.

“She was the same with her grandchildren,” Cookie said. “Everyone had to have the same number of gifts under the tree. She didn’t want anyone to feel slighted.”

Cookie said even though Betty was working, and her mother was living with them, Betty cooked most of the meals. Loretto was the family’s baker. In fact, Loretto shared a bedroom with Cookie and her sister.

“She was one of us,” Cookie said.

When the youngest was kindergarten, Betty began “subbing” in the cafeteria at Troy Community Consolidated School District 30C, eventually becoming full-time and working her way into office work, Jayme said.

“She eventually became the bookkeeper for the entire district,” Jayme said, adding that Betty retired in 1995.

But whether she was working, with friends or at home with family, Betty loved to be around people and was always “the life of the party” and thoroughly enjoyed having guests in her home, especially to play cards and games, even Candy Land with the grandchildren, Jayme said.

Cookie said Betty held Sunday football game parties and Super Bowl parties.

“She had a feisty, quick wit - full of laughter,” Jayme said. “She loved to laugh.”

Betty was also the person who, if someone needed anything, she would do it “a hundred times over” - whether a person needed a ride or the grandchildren wanted to go for ice cream,” Jayme said.

“She was the biggest cheerleader at every event,” Jayme said. “If her family had an event and she was able to attend, she’d be there with the biggest smile on her face, cheering as loud as she could. She didn’t miss a dance recital; she didn’t miss a game. She wanted to be part of everything.”

Perhaps it’s because Betty cared for her own mother until Loretto died in 1969, following a stroke, that Betty loved being the giver and not the receiver.

“She was always the caregiver,” Cookie said. “She always took care of everybody. She never wanted anyone to take care of her, even after Dad passed away.”

Betty did have the opportunity to travel with David before he died. Some of the places Betty visited included Germany, England and Mexico, Cookie said.

“If someone asked her to go on trip, she’d pack her bags,” Cookie said. “She loved to go, go go.”

Betty Barry was 90 when she died May 30.

• To feature someone in “An Extraordinary Life,” contact Denise M. Baran-Unland at 815-280-4122 or dunland@shawmedia.com.