An Extraordinary Life: Joliet woman survived 4 serious car accidents, had a ‘big, giving heart’

A grassroots movement of “kindness” began a couple of years before the COVID-19 pandemic, which included painting and hiding kindness rocks to brighten people’s days.

But many practiced kindness before attention was drawn to it, including Raynice Tadey of Joliet. In fact, Raynice’s daughter Angela Wilkerson of Orland Hills said kindness Raynice’s legacy.

“She was such a kindhearted person,” Angela said. “She loved people. She taught me that even when people are being mean to me to me, to be nice to them. It wasn’t always easy but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized the importance of that.”

Raynice grew up as an only child on a farm in Gardner with her parents, the late Raymond and Bernice Male. Her mother taught in a one-room schoolhouse and her father was a farmer. Raynice also attended a one-room schoolhouse until high school, Angela said.

She also grew up without indoor plumbing until her family moved to Dwight in 1963 after a house fire, Angela said.

But Raynice won plenty of 4-H medals and she had plenty of pets.

Like Cawky the crow.

“Her dad helped her rescue it,” Angela said. “The mom had gotten killed. … It was the only bird she wasn’t scared of. I think she got attacked by a bird in the barn. The bird was protecting its nest and pecked her on the forehead. She had a lifelong fear of birds, except the crow because they brought him up. He was pretty tame.”

Raynice also had a pet duck. Her cousin had won the duck at a fair and Raynice had won a train set. The cousin lived in the city and couldn’t take the duck, so the cousin and Raynice swapped prizes, Angela said.

“The duck would follow her to school,” Raynice said. “The bus driver would have to shoo it away.”

Raynice’s other pets included a lamb, a calf, a rabbit and a pig named Susie, whom Raynice had bottle-fed, Angela said.

“They would follow her into the house,” Angela said. “And Grandma would have to shoo them out.”

Raynice attended Dwight Township High School, graduated in 1968 and was proud of her accomplishments: playing flute in the band, twirling a baton with the poms team and working as a lifeguard at a South Wilmington beach club during the summers, Angela said.

“She was a great swimmer,” Angela said. “I found some of her swimming report cords. She took swimming lessons at the YMCA [in Joliet] and they encouraged her to become a lifeguard.”

Raynice earned an associate degree in law enforcement from Joliet Junior College and met her future husband, Anthony ‘Butch’ Tadey, in 1973 through mutual friends. Until they had Angela, an only child like her mother, Raynice worked as a dispatcher for Will County, Angela said.

But while Angela was growing up, Raynice was a fun, stay-at-home mom who gave Angela plenty of memories with two birthday parties (one for the family, one for the kids at school) and always drove Angela and her friends “from point A to point B,” Angela said.

“As I got older, she threw wonderful sleepovers,” Angela said. “We had games and she let us be kids and watch movies and let us stay up all night. She’d make doughnuts in the morning or go get them. She was always very involved with me and my friends.”

Raynice’s best friend, Henny Steinbach of Shorewood, who is Angela’s godmother and did not have any children, often was part of their experiences, Angela said. Butch nicknamed them Lucy and Ethel, Raynice’s obituary said.

Raynice and Henny took Angela on short trips to Wisconsin and chaperoned Angela and an all-star pom team when it competed in Paris, Angela said.

“They were two of the most kindhearted people I’ve ever known,” Angela said. “Big hearts. Giving. They’d go out of the way to help you if they could. They were both very inclusive people, the type of people that if someone needed a friend, they would try to befriend them.”

Raynice and Henny loved shopping and Raynice especially loved shopping for Hallmark ornaments. Raynice loved Christmas and owned many, many Christmas decorations. With Butch, Raynice loved going to flea markets and antique stores, Angela said.

“After my dad died, I think that gave her some comfort – her love of Christmas,” Angela said. “She’d watch Christmas movies all summer long.”

Raynice loved Bing Crosby, especially “White Christmas,” “The Bells of St. Mary’s” and “Going My Way.” Raynice also loved Fred Astaire, and Angela is grateful she grew up knowing about these classic performers and movies “because of her,” Angela said.

As a couple, Raynice and Butch hosted big New Year’s Eve parties and Fourth of July backyard barbecues, Angela said. Raynice loved to “host and entertain” but that love faded after Butch’s death. They adopted dogs and rescued cats. One cat had a leg injury “under his armpit” from being “strangled with a collar,” so Raynice took him to her vet.

“He lived with it all his life,” Angela said. “But he had a great life.”

Raynice took in three cats that were “dropped off” in her backyard. She’d adopt a kitten if a neighbor’s cat had a litter. She rescued a stray from a farm and a cat that someone had abandoned in her neighbor’s garage, Angela said.

“She even gave CPR to a cat,” Angela said, which she attributed to her mother’s “farm girl skills.”

In later years, Raynice worked as a teacher’s aide in special education classrooms in Joliet Public Grade Schools District 86, Angela said. She retired in 2016.

“She loved being around the kids,” Angela said. “She really liked bring the work home and do the cutting out to make the crafts for the kids.”

It’s sadly ironic that a woman who put people and pets before things lost the one thing that had deep meaning for her. That was Butch’s backyard bench, which alsohad belonged to his father. The bench disappeared from her backyard one day in April. Raynice never saw the bench again, Angela said.

Although Angela misses her mother, she realizes how lucky she was to have her mother for so many years. Raynice was hospitalized with asthma three to four a times a year, Angela said, and even drove herself to the hospital in 2009 when she had a heart attack, thinking it was an asthma attack, Angela said.

Raynice also survived four major car accidents before Angela was born and had lifelong problems with her knees and back, Angela said.

Before Raynice’s sudden death on July 31 at 71 from a rare heart issue, Raynice was in the process of moving to an apartment near Angela and often said, “I’m going to have parties when I get my new place.”

But that was Raynice.

“She was just a very caring person who cared about everyone around her,” Angela said.

• To feature someone in “An Extraordinary Life,” contact Denise M. Baran-Unland at 815-280-4122 or dunland@shawmedia.com.