An Extraordinary Life: Virginia Fleming took a culinologist approach to life

Former New Lenox resident Virginia Fleming had an analytical approach to foods, her daughter Sarabeth Maurisak of Iowa said.

“She would bite into something she really liked, and she would dissect it,” Sarabeth said of her mother, who liked to cook and bake. “What am I tasting? What kind of dough am I eating? What kind of sugars are involved? But with the stroke, that went away.”

Virginia had a stroke in 1997 around the age of 60 – and then wound back up in the emergency room that night with a brain aneurism, Sarabeth said.

Although Virginia had a low chance of survival, about 5%, she recovered and even survived COVID-19 in January 2021. But Virginia gradually developed dementia in the years following that stroke, Sarabeth said.

“It was 17, 18 years before it [the dementia] fully grasped Mom,” Sally said. “When Dad passed away [in 2009], we realized how much was involved.”

And then after Virginia contracted COVID-19, she stopped feeding herself. She was 83 when she died July 30.

However, if one examines Virginia’s life the way she analyzed food, one will find these main components: education, community, and faith. And Sarabeth said she feels these values live on in Virginia’s four children, James Fleming of Minnesota, Sister John Mary Fleming of Tennessee and Kathleen Keenan of Wisconsin.

Education and community

Virginia’s father was born in Scotland and her mother was born in Canada; they met through mutual friends. Virginia grew up in Chicago and married Jim Fleming after she finished nurse’s training, Sarabeth said.

Sarabeth said her mother believed in the value of education for all, especially women, for it gave them independence and power.

“It gave you the power you needed to succeed,” Sarabeth said.

Sarabeth said Virginia worked as a registered nurse at Silver Cross Hospital for her entire nursing career. Virginia even worked when she was raising her children, “not because she had to but because she wanted to,” Sarabeth said.

“It was imperative in her mind that you work,” Sarabeth said. “And you learn, and you understand, and you participate. Because the ability to engage is what made you a better person.”

Sarabeth said when her father had his first heart attack, Virginia helped run his cabinet business while still working at Silver Cross.

“That was the core strength of my parents,” Sarabeth said. “They made you understand and believe in the importance of being a partner. They were a unit and we identified with the unit. It was about teamwork and that’s what my mom and dad taught us as we grew older: You are working as part of a community. You are a team.”

Although Virginia did shift work, she or James always were there with the children to help them with their homework if they needed it, Sarabeth said.

“But we had to ask,” Sarabeth said. “That was part of the process.”

Sarabeth said Virginia saw education as a partnership between parents, children and the school. When all three worked together, the students succeeded. A good moral foundation also was part of that education, Sarabeth said.

Living faith

Although the Fleming family practiced Catholicism and attended Catholic schools, and although her parents were core members and active volunteers at St. Jude Catholic Church in New Lenox, Virginia also valued and practiced ecumenism.

Sarabeth said Virginia taught her children that “each and every one of you is part of a religion. Not one is better than the other one. Not one is supreme to the other. Each one offers the same foundation and moral structure that each of us depends upon.”

“Mom encouraged us to go to other churches with our friends,” Sarabeth said. “So we had a very good idea of how the Methodists practiced their faith, how the Christians versus the Catholics versus the Baptists practiced their faith. They are all part of our community and to know and understand each of those faiths gave us the power to be better people and stronger participants of the community.”

To Virginia, “community” meant the faith community and the worldwide community.

“As children, before we graduated from high school we saw 35 of the 50 states together,” Sarabeth said. “And we did it camping with the pop-up camper. We took a two-week hiatus from school to go see Kitty Hawk in Washington, D.C., We went down to Florida. Mom and Dad were adamant that we see the rest of the world. … and since my husband and I have been married, we’ve increased the number of states we’ve been to – and four countries.”

Sarabeth said her siblings all have at least a master’s degree. Sarabeth’s sister, Sister John Mary Fleming, has served as the executive director for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Secretariat for Catholic Education.

Forty years ago, Virginia herself returned to school and her eared her Bachelor of Science in nursing from the University of St. Francis in Joliet.

“I remember helping her with her papers,” Sarabeth said, adding with a laugh, “She used my typewriter.”

After Virginia and James moved to Florida, Virginia became a Third Order Dominican. But Virginia always was devoted to both the Mass and the rosary, Sarabeth said.

“When I was growing up and heard The Beatles song ‘Let it Be,’ she’d tell me, ‘If you’re stressed and upset, say the rosary. What’s the harm?’” Sarabeth said “You’re asking for prayers. You’re communicating. These are important parts of religion. That’s something I do today. If I’m having a particularly difficult day at work or if I have a problem I need to solve, I use the rosary app on my phone and participate during the day rather than having a specified time.”

But Virginia didn’t believe that people shouldn’t wear “their religion on their sleeve,” Sarabeth said. Instead, Virginia felt, “Your relationship with God is no one else’s business but your own,” Sarabeth said.

Although Virginia was serious about her beliefs, she was not a somber person.

“She loved to laugh all the time; so did my dad,” Sarabeth said. “Their sense of humor was amazing to me. They were polar opposites. My mom enjoyed watching dry English humor that made her laugh right out loud, and my dad could watch The Three Stooges. They were so different, and it was funny to us because that difference was what made everything work.”

• To feature someone in “An Extraordinary Life,” contact Denise M. Baran-Unland at 815-280-4122 or dunland@shawmedia.com.