Pair of books may help kids feel comfortable in their own skin

About four years ago, Becky Cortesi-Caruso of Lemont found her then 5-year-old daughter Charleigh scrubbing away at her skin in a way that alarmed Cortesi-Caruso.

“What are you doing, honey?” Cortesi-Caruso said she asked Charleigh. And Cortesi-Caruso said Charleigh replied, “I want to look like you and Daddy.”

Cortesi-Caruso had adopted Charleigh, who is biracial, shortly after birth. Apparently another child in Charleigh’s circle had told Charleigh, “I hate Black people,” Cortesi-Caruso said.

That inspired Cortesi-Caruso, formerly a school social worker for 22 years, to write and publish a pair of picture books: “Chasing Charleigh: An Adoption Story Filled With Hope and Love” and “Beautifully Biracial: A Young Adoptee’s Journey to Love Herself”

Cortesi-Caruso said the books are for any child experiencing adversity, any adult helping the child and families so they can navigate challenges and find solutions together.

“If anybody knows Charleigh well enough, Charleigh takes things in, but she doesn’t really talk. It takes time for her to process,” Cortesi-Caruso said. “[The books were] the outcome of me trying to convince her of how beautiful she was, how unique she was, and that God put her in our family for a purpose. I wrote these stories for her and other children like her.”

For instance, one illustration in “Beautifully Biracial” Charleigh looking in the mirror, where she starts to realize she looked differently from her dream-vision of herself, which included fashion model slim with long blonde hair. Although that’s an unrealistic goal for Charleigh, that doesn’t mean Charleigh isn’t beautiful or talented, Cortesi-Caruso said.

“I wanted to hone in on who Charleigh is, who does Charleigh think she is and where does she come from,” Cortesi-Caruso said.

To facilitate Charleigh’s sense of identity, Cortesi-Caruso developed relationships with Charleigh’s biological mother and siblings. But Cortesi-Caruso also holds up role models to inspire Charleigh, too, like Martin Luther King and Mayo Angelou.

Cortesi-Caruso said she wrote both books before the protests of 2020, even though “Beautifully Biracial” wasn’t published until October 2021. Since Charleigh is only 9, Cortesi-Caruso shielded her from the more graphic news broadcasts, Cortesi-Caruso said. But “watching history unfold” before their eyes also gave Cortesi-Caruso and Charleigh many opportunities for conversation and to strengthen Charleigh’s identity.

The books will also help adults understand the open adoption process, making these books educational as well as empowering, she said.

“I think it’s all-encompassing,” Cortesi-Caruso said. “My adoption agency bought a bunch of copies and gave them out as parents successfully adopted their own children or infants.”

Cortesi-Caruso said when she read “Chasing Charleigh” to Charleigh’s class two years ago, the students had plenty of questions about adoption.

“So I think any child, with the help of the parent, can truly understand the concept of it,” Cortesi-Caruso said.

Mostly, Cortesi-Caruso hopes her books help people understand their identity, appreciate diversity, navigate challenges and know they can move forward past their struggles to attain their goals.

“I want people to understand that it is truly, truly important to look at your own story,” Cortesi-Caruso said. “And know you can tell a different story.”

Buy “Chasing Charleigh” and “Beautifully Biracial” on Amazon.