Struggles, strengths that single parents see in college

Shelby Chalus wants the best future for her and her son so badly that she will do whatever she has to in order to complete her college degree.

“It’s kind of like life or death to me,” said Chalus, an Illinois Valley Community College student. “I’ve never felt I can’t do this.”

And she is doing it — this spring she’s transferring to Northern Illinois University in DeKalb to complete her degree in energy and environmental tech.

She is a single mother of Kaden, her 10-year-old son.

Chalus, of Ottawa, feels we need to share more positivity for single moms and dads who want an education.

Positivity like the new IVCC group that aims to help single parents. The group provides a space for student parents to reach their personal, educational and career goals.

The group was started by Aurora Medina, who remembers the lonely experience of being a single parent in college.

“I was a young mom. I couldn’t relate to students to my age,” said Medina. “I don’t think anyone should be alone during something you’re trying to accomplish or achieve. You definitely need a support system.”

Medina, of LaMoille, originally from Mendota, was 16 years old when she had her first child.

Now, she’s trying to help others by starting a first-of-its-kind group dedicated to helping single parents at IVCC.

At least 68 IVCC students enrolled this fall indicated they are single parents, and 59 of those students are female, or about 86.8%.

From spring 2018-spring 2019, there were 2,600 Illinois community colleges students who indicated they were single parents; this number included about 84% females.

“However, not all colleges are reporting so we know that there are significantly more students enrolled than reported,” said Matt Berry, spokesperson for the Illinois Community College Board.

“When I came to IVCC, it was really hard to connect with people,” Medina said. “I’m on this personal growth journey. I want to bring as many girls, women with me on this journey.”

Medina’s work hours varied from part time to full time while she attended IVCC.

“It took me a lot longer than it should have because I had a lot of mom guilt,” she said.

Medina serves as the single parent coordinator for Starved Rock Associates for Vocational and Technical Education; her office is based at IVCC.

Most women, because of the negative connotation around being pregnant or a parent in school, give up, Chalus said.

“They won’t put themselves out there because they don’t want to deal with the embarrassment of walking around a school pregnant,” Chalus said. “I didn’t. When I was 18, I stopped going to high school because I was constantly being stared at. I finished my degree. I didn’t want to be around all that. It’s kind of like that here.”

She said she is blessed to have her family who helps transport Kaden when she’s at school or work.

In her journey to complete schooling, Erica Ann Swartzmiller has faced obstacles.

Swartzmiller is a student in IVCC’s RN nursing program and also a single mother of two children.

She and her children’s father were married for about nine years and divorced in 2008. He died from hepatocellular carcinoma in 2009.

Swartzmiller, of Grand Ridge, quit her 20-year-career because she said her workplace was unwilling to work around schedule changes to attend classes at IVCC.

Scheduling is another challenge when it comes to her children’s school, sports or general appointments; she said her parents help her out a great deal when it comes to running the kids where they need to be.

“Money is an issue,” Swartzmiller said. “Quitting my well-paying job and starting over while having house payments, car payments and bills in general has been stressful.”

Swartzmiller has a 19-year-old daughter in the pre-pharmacy program at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and a 15-year-old son who’s a sophomore at Ottawa High School.

“My motivation is I know that my time spent in school is stressful but in the end I will have an education that I can take with me where ever I may go and no one can take that away from me. I consider myself an independent, self-sufficient woman and I pride myself on being able to say — I have that because of me,” she said.

What can we do to help single parents in college?

Child care at IVCC would assist single parents, Chalus said; she has brought her son, 10, to sit at the school while she took an assessment center test and was told he couldn’t be there.

If IVCC is a community school, then it’s realistic to know that a fraction of those attending have children, she said.

She also wants people to know about Business Employment Skills Team Inc. — “Without BEST, I wouldn’t have been financially able to support myself through school,” she said.

BEST can be reached at 815-224-0375.

Swartzmiller said she considers people nowadays to be fairly accepting, adding that the vast majority of people she’s come into contact with have been very encouraging.

“My advice would be to call IVCC or make an appointment with a counselor. The staff at IVCC is more than willing to answer any and all questions and they can always point you in the right direction when starting an educational journey.”

Want to help local single parents in college?

A new Illinois Valley Community College group has the goal of providing a space for student parents to reach their personal, educational and career goals.

Program coordinator Aurora Medina said she’s found that single parents often need help with transportation, so gas cards would help. Other helpful things like hygiene items, diapers for babies and laundry detergent would help as well.

To help, contact Medina at 815-224-0347 or aurora_medina@ivcc.edu.

IVCC also has scholarships for single parents:

• Illinois Valley Women’s Club Scholarship for single female parents with dependent children.

• Jackie Norris Scholarship for single female parents with dependent children.

• Malcolm and Doris Ann Whipple Scholarship for single parents with dependent children.

Those interested in donating can contact Fran Brolley at Fran_Brolley@ivcc.edu or (815) 224-0466.

Statistics on single parents in college

— About 11 % of all undergraduates are raising children without a partner.

— The number of single mothers in college more than doubled between 1999 and 2012.

— Four in 10 women at two-year colleges say they are likely or very likely to drop out of college because of their dependent care obligations.

Source: Women’s Policy Research from September 2017.

Ali Braboy can be reached at (815) 220-6931 and abraboy@shawmedia.com. Follow her on Twitter @NT_LaSalle.