GUEST COLUMN: Become a rememberer

“We are the rememberers, the people left behind,

To keep the one who’s gone from us, alive in heart and mind.

The people left to cherish and preserve their legacy.

Yes, we are the rememberers and we will always be.”

This quote is from The Compassionate Friends/USA Worldwide Candle Lighting page on Facebook. The Compassionate Friends is a group that provides support to families when a child dies. There are chapters everywhere that hold meetings and offer guidance.

Every year on the second Sunday of December, there is an around-the-world candle lighting event that gives 24 straight hours of light to honor the children who are no longer with us. Traveling through all time zones, groups and individuals light candles and remember their babies and children.

The year 2020 has been a unique year for everyone, and I suspect that most group candle lighting events have been changed to private matters. However it happens is fine; the single moments can combine to create a wash of light across the world.

This is deeply personal to me and my family. Hunter, our first grandchild, passed away unexpectedly at the age of 5 months from SIDS in May of 2007. Today, Dec. 12, is his 14th birthday.

Hunter’s birthday candles are remembrance candles that will be lit tomorrow evening as we remember the wonderful day he was born and the joy he brought.

This year has been difficult and challenging for many on numerous levels. There has been loss and hurt beyond anything most of us have ever experienced. Hearts are aching and in various ways, we are all missing someone.

I’d like to amend tomorrow night’s original candle lighting parameters. Everyone is invited to light a candle at 7 p.m. on Dec. 13 for one hour to honor anyone and everyone that you are missing.

Put out pictures, cry and smile, remember those loved ones you cannot see today. Say their names and tell their stories. Light a candle.

During this most different holiday season, draw strength from the love you have known. Cherish the special people who show up in your life.

Celebrate every triumph and joy that makes up the pages of your book.

Bless the ones we miss.

Become a rememberer.

• Karen Roth is a semi-retired librarian/educator living in Ottawa.