Spirit Matters: A wise woman and a sanctuary of peace

Although I often wish for a less technologically saturated world, the ability to connect in real time across the planet this last month has been no less than a gift from God.

The sanctuary in Lourdes, France, the site of dozens of church-approved, rigorously investigated and medically unexplainable healings, offers a 24-hour livestream on the internet.

Between Feb. 11 and July 16, 1858, the blessed virgin Mary appeared 18 times to a young peasant girl, Bernadette Soubirous. During those visits, Mary revealed a hidden spring of water to Bernadette, which still flows today.

Millions of pilgrims visit the site each year to bathe in the cold waters and pray for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healings.

Not all who visit are physically healed, but most visitors report that they experience some kind of spiritual healing or consolation nonetheless.

I like to watch the livestream in the late afternoon or evening our time. It is nighttime in France then, and the sanctuary is quiet and peaceful with no pilgrims around.

It is just me and Mary, she in her grotto and me in my home, one woman present to another woman despite the thousands of miles and an ocean that separate us.

I feel a quiet grace in the room.

That Mary is a sanctuary of peace, no one can deny. She is, after all, the biological mother of Jesus.

The prince of peace was formed and nourished in the sacred space of her womb, with nutrients from the blood that coursed through her body.

And although I have never borne a child of my own, I, too, have a womb, and I know that the space is sacred in every woman whether they ever bear children or not.

It is from this place that we experience the monthly shedding of our uterine lining in the form of menstruation, a reminder of the pregnant potential this place holds.

Sadly, it is often the space, too, where women are violently violated, and have been since the beginning of time.

Those violations leave a lasting spiritual imprint on the woman’s physical body even though she might not be conscious of it.

And sometimes the physical and psychological remnants of those violations can contribute to disease in the feminine reproductive system.

When we reach a certain age, the monthly cycles gradually become irregular until we no longer bleed.

The shift in hormones during this time can, in no uncertain terms, rock one’s world. Mood swings, hot flashes, depression, anxiety, brain fog, aches and pains – a veritable smorgasbord of unwelcome visitors that can last for years.

Hormone therapy can help, but in some people it might be more of a risk than others.

No one really prepares us for this. In our world today, we are supposed to just barrel through the changes going on in our physical bodies and spiritual beings and act as if nothing is amiss.

I mean, we have families to care for and jobs to work, right?

In ancient days, the wisdom inherent in women’s bodies and souls was much more revered than it is today. Women were respected for their intuitive knowing and ability to nurture and heal simply by authentically embodying their feminine energy.

They knew when to rest, and they rested according to the wisdom of their cycles.

And women were more deeply connected with one another, gathering together and offering their shared wisdom with each other.

I hope this helps some understand why women are so passionate about their bodies and the ability to make informed decisions about them without outside interference.

A woman knows her own body better than anyone else can, and to have it governed by laws enacted by a male-dominated government is cruel. It’s an example of the violent violations I spoke of earlier.

The sacredness of my womb and its unique feminine identity is the primary reason I have been visiting with Mary so often this month.

Next week, I will have my uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and part of my cervix removed. I would not do this if it weren’t medically necessary. I have a genetic mutation that can result in ovarian cancer, and I consider myself fortunate that I learned this before anything has had a chance to develop.

I have known about this for months. My husband and I have visited numerous specialists, and I have carefully considered my options. Since I am no longer able to bear children anyway, this is the right decision for me.

Still, I also have spent months contemplating the loss of these organs that define me physically as a woman, and what that will mean for me when they are removed. With these organs removed, will I feel a chasm of emptiness in my spirit, in my soul?

I expect to feel some grief, although I don’t know to what magnitude.

Having children of my own was never something I spent a lot of time thinking about, as many women do. I have lived my life content to pursue other creative means, such as writing and spiritual growth. It has been, and continues to be a rewarding and fulfilling life.

This is why I have been preparing myself spiritually and spending more time with Mary.

Not simply an unreachable porcelain figure, Mary lived the existence of a flesh-and-blood woman, experiencing all the joys and sorrows that come with that.

She gets it.

So I have been sitting quietly in her presence, across the miles, asking her to stay close to me through this procedure and the recovery period.

And to nurture and comfort me, as only wise women can do.

She always has before.

She won’t stop now.

SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column by Jerrilyn Zavada Novak that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact her at jzblue33@yahoo.com.