Paperwork: Of all the authors through history, who should I invite?

I’m planning a dinner party. And you’re all invited.

I can say that because ... well ... it’s more like me fantasizing about a dinner party because this one could never happen. But it’s fun to think about and yes, you can join my fantasy.

My party plans began when friend Ellen shared on Facebook a New York Times “By the Book” interview with author, playwright and screenwriter Kevin Barry of Ireland about his latest book, “The Heart in Winter.”

FYI ... it’s hard for me to pass up any interview with authors – any author. And this one was especially inviting because there were questions about books on your night stand, the ideal reading experience, books everyone should read ... stuff like that. (I keep a list of recommended books, even though I will never have the time to read them all. More proof, I guess, that I do wander into a fantasy world now and then.)

So ... the final question was: “You’re organizing a literary dinner party. Which three writers, dead or alive, do you invite?”

Barry’s reply: “Anthony Burgess (‘A Clockwork Orange’). Patricia Highsmith (‘The Talented Mr.Ripley’). Theodore Roethke (Poetry — ‘The Waking’). I think this one could go on to a very wee hour, and in quite a lively style, especially if there’s a stand-up piano for Mr. Burgess to tinker with.”

I added the book titles to boost their identity, which I found interesting. But not for my dinner party.

This is one of those questions that never brings one simple answer. It deserves a lot of thought. Or not. It’s a fantasy, right, so I’ll dive right in and speak from the heart or gut or whatever impulse is pulling me right now.

There are authors I’d love to meet on a park bench, a neighborhood bar or in a library, etc. Depends on my mood and the author. It would be easy to start listing great authors, but I dumped that idea right away.

I immediately Ieaned toward dead authors. Seems they have a more complete story to tell. But I suspect my choices might seem a bit offbeat.

My first invite would go to anyone who wrote any book (chapter) in the Bible. What a great chat we could have. By chat I mean me asking a lot of questions. Before a huge debate begins on who wrote the Bible, I’ll just throw out the name Moses. Yeah, he gets my invite.

The second invite goes to Thomas Jefferson. He gets most of the credit for drafting our Declaration of Independence. There are so many “experts” now who readily tell us what Jefferson meant and intended and what his motives were, etc. I’d love to hear his take on what he wrote. And what he did not write. I suspect Moses would have some questions for him, also.

Now I have to say I am struggling with my last invite. Hemingway. J.D. Salinger. Jules Verne. John Steinbeck. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Edgar Allan Poe. There are so many and this is the trap I did not want to fall into. I could go with many authors.

But I keep coming back to one name. An author who has always intrigued me. His impact on literature and language has never ended. His plots lines and characters continue to be copied. His dialogue is excellent. And when he puts it all together he makes it rhyme. Amazing.

Yes, my third invite goes to William Shakespeare. I admit my hidden agenda is to dig into the lingering debate that suggests he was not the genius behind all those works with his byline. Again, maybe Moses should ask the pointed questions.

So … that’s my guest list. Would love to hear yours.

• Lonny Cain, retired managing editor of The Times in Ottawa, also was a reporter for The Herald-News in Joliet in the 1970s. His PaperWork email is lonnyjcain@gmail.com. Or mail The Times, 110 W. Jefferson St., Ottawa, IL 61350.