Guest column: Building a boy

My son Leo Manley Volker turns 21 this month. He’s smart, he’s tall, he’s strong, he’s good-looking. We’re ready to turn him loose on the world. Very much so! He’s been a great son throughout, and so, how do you build a boy and make a man?

Independence matters. Skills and knowledge matter. Care for other people matters. A sense of fairness and justice matters. And a sense of confidence and purpose.

It was a marvel to me that the hospital just let us take him home when he was born back in ‘03 – so much parental responsibility handed off to us in a warm, 9-pound package! Bishop Daniel Jenky baptized him at the cathedral in Peoria as one of the very first things he did at the diocese.

Over the years, he’s learned to use power tools, worked on the house and yard and we climbed Colorado mountains and kayaked all the local rivers. Did the Little League thing and basketball. He became an Eagle Scout and had good summer teen work experiences.

It was a privilege to teach him to read and teach him the multiplication tables. He learned that everyone has chores to do.

Curious to me that his name works so well for him! He’s named after my grandfather, Manley Leo Liptak of Streator. We flipped the names for individuality’s sake. Here’s a coincidence. As a tennis player I’ve been a fan of Roger Federer and Bjorn Borg ... and both of these amazing tennis champions happen to have sons named Leo! I found this out after we’d named our son.

This past weekend I set up a new computer and I decided to use the Brave browser and, lo and behold! it’s AI assistant is named Leo!

His birthday is the 16th of this month. I socked away a couple of bottles of red Galena Cellars wine, the U.S. Grant reserve, which ages very well and becomes a fantastic red after a few years. So his celebration will include some tasty toasts and a few special gifts for the special event.

It’s amazing to me that the retail market just views the 21st birthday just as an occasion to legally drink for the first time. More is at stake than this! The new 21-year-old has to be treated like an adult – and not just legally. It’s important to draw lines and say, “you’re an adult now! It’s a great thing – much better than being a kiddie. Enjoy your freedom, stand on your own two legs and make your own decisions, and go forth on your adult life.”

I kind of would like to say to every 21-year-old that marriage is a good thing, children are a wellspring of joy, and there’s great and lasting life happiness in these things. They take work, but they build a good life.

He’s taller now, walks like a man, and now at 21, it’s time to shake Leo Manley Volker’s hand and give him a great toast, a hug and my deepest appreciation. Break open that aged red wine!

Todd Volker lives in Ottawa with his wife and son, and they enjoy reading, kayaking, hiking, tennis and camping. He’s a lifelong learner with books in his hands.