Spirit Matters: To live in search of God is to live organically

I live my life in widening circles
that reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one
but I give myself to it.

I circle around God, around the primordial tower.
I’ve been circling for thousands of years
and I still don’t know: am I a falcon,
a storm, or a great song?

– Rainer Maria Rilke, “Widening Circles,” translated by Joanna Macy

One of the beautiful aspects of poetry is that a single poem can carry a thousand meanings, depending on the reader and the circumstances under which it is read.

Anyone who has read or heard passages from scripture at various times during their lives will understand what I mean.

The same psalm that spoke to me one way in my 20s speaks to me in an entirely different way now. This is what Saint Paul means when he writes in Hebrews 4:12:

Indeed, the word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart.

Far from being dead, outdated text, the word of God is “living and effective,” meaning it works organically and effects change as it goes, often imperceptibly to us. Its truths remain true over time and are applicable to the human condition always, even though modern societies are (apparently) far more advanced than those in biblical times.

The truth is, the human heart is the same as it has always been and capable of great good, as well as great evil. Scripture, when read with the understanding that the New Testament is the fulfillment of the Old Testament, is the story of God’s active presence in the world then, now and in the future.

And Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of the sacred word. Jesus – the word of God – is
“living and effective … penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart.”

Rilke’s poem, “Widening Circles,” has long been a favorite of mine. When I first read it many years ago, it was as though someone had cast a spell over me.

Words, done the right way, can do that. They are, in the fullest sense of the word, magical.

For most of my adult life, I have been on a search for “who I am” and why I am here. It is the perennial search for most people, as it originates in the spark God put in our hearts. When we ask ourselves these questions, we are really on a search for our origin, for God, whether we realize it or not. And the answers to these questions can change; our lives are organic, and when they intermingle with that organic word of God, new things explode into being, often unexpectedly.

With that ongoing quest for insight into my soul in mind, Rilke’s words in the first verse mean something far different to me now than they did in my 20s.

Almost 30 years later, I have a better understanding of what it means to “live my life in widening circles.” I have decades of life experience I didn’t have then, and that life experience has taken me to people, places and situations I never would have imagined.

Time has a way of deepening us – of ripening our souls. And this short poem from Rilke speaks profoundly to that truth.

Still, life continues on, and my soul continues to “circle around God, around the primordial tower,” that is, the heart of all that is.

I’ve been circling for a lifetime now, “and I still don’t know: am I a falcon, a storm or a great song?”

Only time will tell.

SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column by Jerrilyn Zavada Novak that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact her at jzblue33@yahoo.com.