PaperWork: I certainly would give a thumbs up to my stay in Paris

OK. I must tell you about my fingernail. The right hand, thumbnail to be exact.

Also, I should give a fair warning. This story might seem trivial and could easily wander into boring territory. But I am obsessed.

I’ve been fascinated with my fingernail for several weeks. But let’s begin, as we should, at the beginning.

In October, my wife and I went to Europe. We spent roughly a week in Paris, then London and finally Edinburgh.

This tale unfolds in Paris. Our bedroom had a large window that invited a view of the street below and the surrounding distinctive architecture. I was eager to see it.

Covering the window was a large, metal folding contraption. It helped accent the quaintness of the apartment and the mystery of new surroundings. I had to unfold the beast to let in the day. I say beast because it was heavy and cumbersome as I tried to figure out which way to bend and open it.

I did get it open but forgot an important lesson whenever playing with anything on hinges. As one part opened another closed – with a vice-like grip on my thumb.

Honestly, it did not hurt that much. Not like stubbing a toe, which automatically invokes a verbal explanation. This was more like an ugh and groan thing. I might have mentioned, “Damn, that was stupid.” The fingernail seemed OK. No blood. I moved on.

The next day I noticed the tell-tale black dot under the thumbnail. I was not surprised. I’ve seen this before. I assume you have also.

You can look it up. I did and confirmed that the black dot is evidence of a minor injury that forced blood to collect under the nail. So for a while, I would be sporting a “subungual hematoma.”

My black spot was in the center of my thumbnail ... until it wasn’t. Ahhh that’s when my curiosity was aroused, when trimming my nails I noticed my black dot was a bit higher on the nail. I realized eventually it would vanish as the nail grew out.

So, being a normal human being I turned my thumbnail into a science fair project. I didn’t create any kind of spreadsheet or pull out calipers to make daily measurements. I just waited and watched as days passed and I clipped closer and closer and eventually into the black dot.

Then … On day 145, March 5, 2025, I trimmed off the last sliver of black trauma under my nail. It took that long for my black dot to travel or grow about a quarter inch.

Now what’s ahead could be the boring territory. The exciting part is over and you can move on if you want. But you know all science projects need some kind of poster boards that display fascinating facts. So let me share more trivia from healthline.com:

• Fingernails grow, on average, about a tenth of a millimeter per day. (The average grain of short rice is about 5.5 mm long.)
• Factors that can affect growth can depend on which hand it is, age, hormone levels and overall health.
• It might take up to six months for an entire nail to completely grow back.
• Nails on your dominant hand grow faster than the rest, as do the nails on your longer fingers.
• Fingernails grow faster during the day and during the summer.
• The habit of biting your nails has been associated with faster growth. Perhaps because biting causes trauma to the nail that stimulates circulation. This relates to a theory that frequent clipping makes nails grow a little faster and doesn’t carry the same risks as nail biting.

So ends one of my special memories of Paris, which, if you allow me some creative license, I will refer to as a real nail-biter.

“Au revoir.”

• Lonny Cain, retired managing editor of The Times in Ottawa, also was a reporter for The Herald-News in Joliet in the 1970s. His PaperWork email is lonnyjcain@gmail.com. Or mail The Times, 110 W. Jefferson St., Ottawa, IL 61350.