Write Team: Exploring the theory of the ‘ew’

I recently had a conversation with a friend wherein the topic of nature versus nurture came up.

It’s an age-old argument when it comes to behavior. The term describes the question of how much of who we are is formed by either nature or nurture. Nature means innate biological factors, our DNA so to speak, while nurture refers to how and with who we grew up with, or life experience more generally, meaning things that are learned.

The experts say that nothing is 100% nature or nurture, although the fact that my kids have the same sense of humor as my dad and me would make a solid argument for “it must be in the genes.”

That said, I think there may be one trait that we all have, that will prove that the aspect of who we are is in the genes. What I’m referring to for lack of a better word, is the Theory of the Ew.

The moment I say the word “ew” you know exactly what I’m talking about. And I think we experience the ew a lot earlier in life than any other trait.

For instance, for me, the first time came while I was just settling into a crib in the nursery at First Baptist Church of Hinsdale. My mom had just laid me in while she was heading upstairs to the main sanctuary. I have no idea what the kids’ name in the next crib over was but shortly after getting comfortable in the crib, the kid had a blowout, and when I say blowout, you all know what I mean. I was on the edge of sleep when the blowout occurred, but I distinctly remember thinking ew.

Another memorable ew came in third grade, while in Mrs. Bean’s class. It was fish stick day in the cafeteria and Robbie Upton decided to eat 17 fish sticks, along with the sides of green beans and cherry Jello. It came as no surprise to anyone that later that afternoon, Robbie spewed 17 fish sticks, green beans and cherry Jello all over Mrs. Bean’s class. That one called for the elongated version of Ewwwwwww.

Pets can be a good source of ew. My dog excels at ew. I realize her brain is the size of a walnut but the things she thinks are cool are, in fact, not. She loves to roll around in deer poop and then occasionally eat it. If another animal has an untimely death in our yard, she will find it, play with it, and then eat it. Yeah, that’s a lot of ew.

Everyone loves to eat sausage on a pizza or in gravy served over biscuits but believe me when I say that no one wants to see how the sausage is made. That would call for a capital letter EW!

Driving can provide a lot of situations to experience the ew. If you’ve ever driven into the city on the Stevensons (I-55), you can experience a myriad of ews. Between the corn processing plant and a landfill or two, the ew smells come in by the truckloads.

Or you can drive by something in the road that from a distance just looks like a little pile of rags but as you get closer, you realize that the little pile of rags has been reduced to a flattened pancake like something that was at one time a raccoon. Ew.

Life is full of ews. The key is to look the ew in the face and just laugh.

Jonathan Freeburg is an Ottawa transplant for the past two decades-plus and a regular contributor to 1430 WCMY Radio. He can be reached at newsroom@shawmedia.com.