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I should have noted the day, date, location ... even the weather that day.
It was a lightning moment, sparked by a few words. A simple sentence. I cannot recall all those specifics, but I remember the words, who said them, and the overwhelming feeling that washed over me.
A simple sentence. And it’s the first one that came to mind last week when I scrolled into this little posting: “Human to human ... Tell me a sentence that changed your life for the better.”
Sarah, a Facebook friend, had posted this challenge. (She does this often. Sharing words or prompts that make you think ... about yourself ... and taking control of your life. She knows it’s not always easy.)
So, yup ... I could not stop thinking about the question – a sentence that changed my life? I have so many. I actually collect them, print them out and prop them up on my bookshelves or shove them under magnets. Words with meaning to me. Powerful reminders of what matters and who I am ... or should be.
But all those words don’t seem to answer the question Sarah asked. Not as well as that simple sentence I heard so many years ago when I was in high school, a teenager doubting myself on so many levels.
So I had an answer. And I wasn’t the only one triggered by her question. Checking her post again today, I see Sarah has had several responses. Such as:
When you do difficult things, you grow inside. ... The hurt doesn’t get any easier, but it gets less often. ... You can’t make people love you. ... I am so proud of you. ... Choose people who choose you!
In the end, everything will be OK, and if it’s not OK, it’s not the end. ... Don’t look back – you’re not going in that direction. ... This too shall pass.
Sarah listed several of her own: “You never have to feel this way again. ... I got you. ... You are not alone. ... Let me help you.”
To that list, I will now add my simple sentence. I suspect you’ve heard the words many times before. Life tends to revolve around them. But for me, it felt like the start of life.
The words came from a young woman I was dating. We lived near each other and attended the same high school, and we were a couple. I cannot tell you the time or the place or even the season of the year ... but I can tell you how I felt when I heard that simple sentence we both were thinking but not saying out loud.
“I love you.” That was it. Her words. A simple sentence from someone other than family. To a teenage boy hearing it for the first time from a teenage girl.
Those words can be overused. But at the right moment from the right person, they light a fuse. Things explode. You have to understand, I did not fully comprehend how someone like her could really love me. Even now, after more relationships since then and a marriage spanning 39 years, those words prompt wonderment. Still, there are those inner thoughts of “Really? Me? Can that be possible?”
And there you have it. That first high school romance. Hearing those words with sincerity for the first time. Feeling the depth of those words for the first time. And learning for the first time that yes, it can be possible.
So there you have it, Sarah. My answer. “I love you.” A sentence that changed my life. More than once. And still does.
• Lonny Cain, retired managing editor of The Times in Ottawa, was also a reporter for The Herald-News in Joliet in the 1970s. His PaperWork email is lonnyjcain@gmail.com. Or mail The Times, 110 W. Jefferson St., Ottawa, IL 61350.