B-List: When ladies go wild (and hairy)

“There are hardly any female werewolves because they break all the classic rules of femininity. They ignore the masculine gaze completely. Their omission from pop culture is not an accident.” – faeriesfang on Tumblr.

It really is an absolute crime there aren’t more lady werewolves in horror. It feels like such a no-brainer – I mean, women couldn’t possibly relate to a creature heavily influenced by the moon, that undergoes painful, bloody, physical symptoms and powerful cravings once a month, right?

*Stares directly into the camera.*

While we absolutely need more lady werewolves in fiction, there are some great ones already out there. Today, a look at six of the hairiest, toothiest gals out there, starting with:

6. Cursed

Siblings Ellie (iconic goth gal Christina Ricci) and Jimmy (Jesse Eisenberg) are scratched by a very big dog after a car accident, and soon after the pair find themselves undergoing some unusual changes. A fortune teller informs Ellie the only way to break the curse they’re now under is to “end the line” of the werewolf that attacked them, alluding to the original “Wolf Man” story.

Now, I’m not about to claim that this Wes Craven film is an especially good movie; thanks to that age-old bogeyman known as Studio Interference, the project was woefully mismanaged and butchered in order to turn an R-rated story into a PG-13 one. Special effects maestro Rick Baker was actually fired (*gasp!*) and his physical effects replaced by CGI (BLASPHEMY!).

All of that being said: “Cursed” is still pretty solid werewolf-based entertainment, and is worth watching at least once, if just for one of the greatest werewolf scenes of all time, featuring a particular gesture of profanity that will have you cackling like a witch.

5. Toby Barlow’s Sharp Teeth

Told through prose that’s equal parts clever and beautiful, like a modern-day Dante’s “Inferno,” “Teeth” is the story of Anthony, a lonely dog-catcher, who unwittingly stumbles into a territorial dispute between three packs of werewolves hiding in plain sight in the modern human world.

But it isn’t just Anthony’s story: We also get “her” perspective, an unnamed she-wolf who falls for Anthony and has to navigate her new love with her old pack allegiances.

“Sharp Teeth” won a slew of awards in 2009, but I never hear it mentioned these days. If you’re looking for a unique take on the werewolf mythos, this is a quick and poignant read perfect for the upcoming spooky season.

4. Trick ‘R Treat

This anthology film is a Halloween staple for me, and the “Surprise Party” segment may be my favorite bit of it. Twentysomething Laurie (Anna Paquin) is enjoying the town’s Halloween festival until her friends pick up dates and take off without her.

As she walks through the woods in her Red Riding Hood costume, a man suddenly attacks her. But unfortunately for him, this Red Riding Hood has some very big teeth to show him …

I love me a good trope, but I also love when a trope is inverted. And it’s such fun watching a damsel in distress become the big bad wolf, thwarting expectations with gory glee.

3. Wolf Like Me

Mary (Isla Fisher), an advice columnist, is a loner with a rather large, matching set of emotional baggage. Gary (Josh Gad) is a single dad still reeling, even seven years later, from the death of his wife. Fate keeps throwing Mary and Gary together.

And while Gary is immediately drawn to the mysterious Mary, and Mary instantly connects with Gary’s daughter Emma, the pair have more than their own personal trauma to overcome: Mary also happens to be a werewolf.

There are a lot of things I really like about this series. I love that it’s set in Australia, which is hardly the first place you think of when you picture “werewolves.”

I like that the supernatural aspects of the story aren’t front-and-center – the primary focus is on the connections between Mary and Gary, Gary and Emma, and Mary and Emma. That Mary is a werewolf is secondary, a bit of extra seasoning for flavor.

And I love that Mary is in her forties; almost every other lady werewolf is a teenager or hot twentysomething, and their sexuality/sexiness is often their dominant feature. Mary is still gorgeous, no question about that, but she’s not depicted solely as a (literal) man-eating seductress.

2. Ginger Snaps

Talk about the worst first period ever: no sooner has teenager Ginger Fitzgerald (Katherine Isabelle) realized she needs a pad when she’s viciously attacked by the animal that’s been mauling the town’s dogs. Ginger and her sister Brigitte (Emily Perkins) escape, but it’s not long before Brigitte notices worrying changes in her sister, both physical and homicidal.

“Ginger Snaps” is an ode to every morbid girl who grew up in the era of Hot Topic and Evanescence. The Fitzgerald sisters were already obsessed with death before lycanthropy ever came into the picture, and seeing how the monstrous infection neatly parallels teenaged angst and the wild swings of puberty and hormones? *Chef’s kiss*

Truly, no one understands horror and feeling monstrous better than a teen girl.

1. Angua VonÜberwald and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld

Leave it to Sir Terry to create a werewolf that both embraces and subverts all of the typical “rules” of the myth. Introduced in the novel “Men at Arms” as a “diversity hire” for the City Watch – everyone assumes she’s merely the first lady to join the Watch, hardly suspecting that she’s also the first werewolf – Angua is described as a remarkably beautiful blonde (naturally) who has a rather unsettling stare (almost as if she’s contemplating tearing your throat out…).

But she’s also a firm vegetarian desperate to avoid becoming a “humanitarian”, as she puts it. And though she’s fiercely loyal to boyfriend Carrot, and wears her badge on a collar (so much easier, when she has a hard time keeping track of a uniform while on four legs), she’s far more than just a faithful dog.

As someone who constantly straddles the lines between three different cultures – human, canine, and werewolf – Angua is a character that’s been warmly embraced by multiple groups, particularly bisexual and biracial fans.

And her staunch stance against racists and supremacist movements makes her one of Pratchett’s greatest heroes – not to mention my all-time favorite lady werewolf.

ANGIE BARRY is a contributing columnist for Shaw Media. To suggest future topics for The B-List, which covers topics in pop culture, history and literature, contact her at newsroom@mywebtimes.com.