Those puppy dog eyes are looking for more than a treat

I was in the kitchen having a conversation with Tucker.

He’s the dog that runs our household. He was sitting patiently, waiting. I was talking human words. He was listening, head cocked a bit.

“What do you want?” I asked, knowing exactly what he wants. We talk like this all the time. Me with words, some of which he understands. And he is speaking volumes simply with his eyes.

I admit it now publicly to the world. I cannot resist his eyes. It’s pure connection.

“The eyes are the windows to the soul.” Good luck figuring out who said that first, but it is sooo true. Especially with pets. And definitely with Tucker.

“What do you want?” I ask and his eyes clearly respond with, “You know what I want, stupid human.” And then he does this quick side glance over to the kitchen counter and a small container of dog treats.

So. He gets a treat. (Can’t resist those eyes.)

Tucker knows where to sit when we are watching TV at night – in my line of sight. He sits there staring at me until his message is received. I feel the staring eyes so I get up and let him outside. He will announce via a little “woof” when he wants back inside.

Pet owners know what I’m talking about. Over time we nestle into little rituals with each other that become a bond that is deep and difficult to let go. Which has been the point of all my banter about the eyes. And why that eye connection is so important.

Jessi Dietrich of Tennessee has blasted this message through the social airwaves. She asked her veterinarian a question and the response has been shared and reshared thousands of times. As will I.

“What’s the hardest part of your job?” was her question. “Putting an animal down,” was the answer. But there’s more. Something pet owners need to understand.

The vet said 90% of pet owners do not want to be in the room when their pet is euthanized. So what that vet sees time and again are sick animals on his table looking for their owners. Trying to connect with those eyes. But the last thing they see is a stranger. As they slip from the living world what they need most, what they want most, is not there.

“It’s inevitable that they die before you,” the vet said. “Don’t forget that you were the center of their life. Maybe they were just a part of you. But they are also your family. No matter how hard it is, don’t leave them.”

Many vets make house calls when the difficult decision is made to euthanize. This helps families prepare and set a proper stage for the final moments. Vets also do this so pets can find comfort from their home, with their family. Close to their family. And pets are family.

We did this with our last dog, before Tucker. It was not easy and took a long time to absorb. But we discovered it was the right way to say goodbye.

When you get to be my age you think about those final moments. Human or animal – it doesn’t matter. Both will look around for the comfort of loved ones. Things that matter. I hope my eyes will be able to connect, to say what needs to be said. Without words.

And if it’s Tucker I’m letting go, it will be close to unbearable. But I will cradle his head in my hands and, eye to eye, and without words, we will say goodbye together.

Lonny Cain, retired managing editor of The Times in Ottawa, also was a reporter for The Herald-News in Joliet in the 1970s. His Paperwork email is lonnyjcain@gmail.com. Or mail The Times, 110 W. Jefferson St., Ottawa, IL 61350.